Where is your head this week?
Sometimes when there is a lot going on in life, it can be easier to keep it firmly stuck in the sand.
The sand is familiar, and known. Our brains like that.
Keeping our head in the sand keeps us blinkered to what is going on and to having to face it. That can feel safe and allow us to successfully avoid any change in behaviour that will require work, learning, time, effort and pain.
But let’s face it, keeping our head in the sand can also be claustrophobic, limiting and repetitive. Not to mention damp, unpleasant and difficult to breathe. Sometimes we need to lift our heads into the light.
Let me introduce you to Mark.
Mark came to me a few years back with his head very firmly stuck in the sand. Mark is in his mid 40s, with a youngish family and some worrying new health challenges.
Very quickly he identifies that he is avoiding facing up to changes he knows he wants to make in his life, his family, his work and his health. He has chosen to stay stuck for a while, but identifies that this is no longer serving him well at all. His confidence and self worth have taken a bit of a battering. Furthermore, he is disillusioned with getting the same mediochre outcome from the same behaviours and choices.
And that disillusionment is just the prompt he needs to seek out life coaching.
Mark wants clarity and a full MOT and stock take of his life and physical health. He is committed to identifying what is missing from his life and taking action to meet those needs in simple, sustainable and practical ways.
And he because he is stuck, and his head has been in the sand for a while, he does not know how to start. So he gets in touch with me, and we have an initial free taster session where he talks through his life at present and I lay out how coaching might work for him. I paint a picture of what life might be like with the clarity and proactivity he wants, and he is hooked.
Over the course of only four sessions over two months, we work together to unpick many aspects of his life and behaviour patterns and rebuild a more confident, clearer and emotionally present Mark. We look at what is keeping him stuck, and how out of touch he has become with his emotional needs. We identify the impact this is having on his most important relationships, and how to craft new belief systems and behaviour patterns.
As we identify his values, it becomes clear that there are a number of clashes and areas of conflict. And he has been trying to meet everyone’s needs at the cost of knowing what is most important to him and those dearest to him.
He gets his head out of the sand.
We come up with simple and clear actionable plans and Mark gains confidence in who he is. He identifies what is important to him and how to make positive and proactive choices to prioritise those things. Along the way, I provide accountability and encouragement, and just enough prodding through careful questioning to empower him to get his head out of the sand.
He finishes our sessions with his head held high. He gains a clearer view of the immediate future and a vision going further into the distance of who he is growing into.
And no sand.
What does life coaching actually do for you?
Mark of course is not a real client, he is a composite of the kinds of issues I work with people to resolve. And this is part of an occasional series of case histories.
Earlier this year, we met Suzanne, who was trapped in a cage and had lost her identity, but through life coaching found herself waking up and becoming fully alive again.
According to the International Coaching Federation, the governing body of coaching:
Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.”
The most important word in that definition is partnering.
For Mark, this was important – that we worked together to help him see beyond what was keeping him stuck and to solve his own problems. I was essentially acting as a thinking partner and objective mirror to allow him to see and access his own creativity and resources.
Coaching is bringing beauty out of brokenness (more on that here).
As you are reading this, what is stirring in you?
An awareness that your own head is stuck in the sand, and you would like something of the clarity and freedom Mark gained?
That you are disillusioned with doing things the same way and yet hoping beyond hope for a different outcome? You need someone to help you unpick what is going on so you can learn to do things differently?
Get in touch for your free taster session.
If you are going through a season of change just now, I have a free gift for you – a toolkit to help you navigate transitions well. Simply access it here.
And if you identify that toxic thinking patterns and self-criticism is holding you back, please give yourself this free course to break free of these negative patterns. Access your free course here.
You are beautiful. And unique, precious and strong. Maybe you have lost sight of that person. Get in touch for your free coaching taster session and we can work together to rediscovering who you really are.
