Setting boundaries in our lives is key for many reasons. First, to help us keep focused and moving towards our goals and achievements. Next, for our wellbeing and health. How often do you do things for others that you don’t really want to do? Furthermore, it’s often due to a sense of obligation. When we act because of the things we tell ourselves we ‘should’ or ‘need’ to do, we have an underlying resistance that erodes our energy. Moreover, unless we unpack our resistance, doing things we don’t want to do eats into our precious time, conflicts with our core values and our best intentions for our goals. Furthermore, the word ‘no’ carries significant weight. Research by neuroscientists has shown that the word ‘no’ can stimulate stress-related activity, triggering a fight-or-flight response.
The Power of the Word “No“
In one study, flashing the word ‘no’ triggered a sudden release of stress hormones, which impaired logic and diminished communication. However, without feeling comfortable saying no, the fear of turning others down can lead to piling too much on our plate, overwhelming workloads, causing anxiety, stress and lack of self-care. For entrepreneurs, this word is a double-edged sword. While it’s crucial for managing time, energy, and focus, many of us fear turning down opportunities, clients, or potential growth. This means we must learn to use the word ‘no’ wisely, as context and awareness essential.
Saying “No” Creates Space For Goals and Helps Us In Setting Boundaries
On the flip side, the intentional use of ‘no’ opens up space for what truly matters. It’s not just rejection; it’s a conscious act of prioritisation. Using ‘no’ confidently gives you better control over your time and energy, leading to setting boundaries, less stress, and better decision-making.
Think of it like pruning branches for healthier growth. By saying ‘no’ to distractions and time-wasting activities, you create space for what aligns with your goals. Each deliberate ‘no’ clears away unnecessary ‘shoulds’, and ‘obligations’, freeing you to say ‘yes’ to the right things. The result can improve business productivity, raise spirits and improve overall well-being. Setting boundaries in our busy world is sometimes the only way to ensure we make progress on our goals.
Finally, this fear of saying ‘no’ to other people’s requests, or opportunities leads to an overloaded schedule, excessive demands, and ultimately, burnout. The result? Anxiety, stress, and a lack of self-care that diminishes both personal and professional well-being.
How to Set Boundaries and Harness the Positive Power of “No”
- Clarify Your Goals: Have a clear and compelling vision of your future. Check in daily to stay aligned with your path, making “no” easier and more intentional.
- Plan and prioritise your tasks to manage your time and energy effectively, allowing you to avoid distractions.
- Reframe ‘no’ in your mind: Instead of asking ‘What should I do?’ ask ‘What could I do? The word ‘should’ limits energy and brings up internal resistance in your mind, while the word ‘could’ expands thinking and choices.
Research supports the importance of setting boundaries. According to the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, individuals who establish clear personal and professional boundaries experience lower levels of burnout, better work-life balance, and higher job satisfaction. Setting boundaries helps manage time and energy effectively, reducing overwhelm and maintaining focus on key priorities.
As Dr. Henry Cloud, author of ‘Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life ‘ writes:
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows where I end and someone else begins, leading to a sense of ownership.”
Furthermore, Dr. Brené Brown notes in ‘Daring Greatly’:
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
Saying ‘no’ and setting boundaries, helps you feel more empowered, make better decisions and stick to what is most important. And of course, your performances will improve as will your sense of personal power and wellbeing. Ultimately, it’s about knowing what you want, what goals are important and when and where you will compromise or not.
About the Author
Mandy Napier is a Global High Performance Mindset Coach who is dedicated to supporting business professionals and entrepreneurs fulfil their potential and achieve extraordinary results professionally and personally. Transformations are the norm, and results guaranteed.