Finding Light in December’s Shadows

December. It’s a month that can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. While many people look forward to the holidays, there’s a significant number of us who find this time of year incredibly difficult. If you’re someone who dreads the encroaching festivities, you’re not alone.

The holidays often come loaded with expectations—on our roles, behavior, and emotions. But what if we flipped the script? What if we refused to be pigeonholed by these expectations? By allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions and set necessary boundaries, we grant ourselves the gift of healing.

I’ve walked this path myself. My family dynamics, particularly with a narcissistic relative, were a recurring source of pain. Stonewalling was their weapon of choice, a refusal to address issues that only deepened the wounds. For me, to confront our issues openly was crucial.

But that wasn’t what they wanted.

Because I upheld my boundary of working through our problems, my daughter, grandson, and I were ousted. It was a painful and lonely experience. But, here’s the empowering part—we seized this as an opportunity to create our own beautiful traditions. Traditions that allowed room for our emotions to surface, breathe, and heal.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. It’s a declaration that your mental and emotional well-being matters. Here are some ways you can start:

• Acknowledge Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Accepting your emotions is the first step toward healing.

• Set Clear Boundaries: Communicate your limits, even if they aren’t well received. Your well-being comes first.

• Create New Traditions: Make space for activities that bring you joy and connect you with the essence of the season on your terms.

This holiday season, I encourage you to write your own story. Reflect on what this time of year means to you—not what it “should” mean. Embrace your emotions, set those critical boundaries, and start building new traditions that nurture your soul.

Remember, the true spirit of the holidays doesn’t reside in the expectations of others. It lives in the authentic connection we build with ourselves and those we love.

Here’s to a season where you can find both the strength to heal and the courage to grow.

P.S. If you or someone you know is in a crisis, please call 988 to be connected to a mental health counselor.