I’ve been chatting with folks a lot lately about mistakes and feeling regret. My senior quote in my high school yearbook was, “I’d rather regret the things I did, than the things I didn’t.” So I guess my thoughts and feelings on the subject have been somewhat consistent for many years.
I still prefer going for things in life, rather than letting fear rule me. However, now regret is not a part of my life (well, at least I try for it not to be). I believe it’s a waste since we can’t go back in time and change things. This doesn’t mean I’m thrilled with the outcome of every choice I make–but I choose to believe there are no mistakes, and that there are always lessons to be learned and growth to occur.
So what about those times in life when we choose a path that doesn’t turn out to be quite as awesome as we had initially thought it would be? We’ve all been there before. We realize something that we thought would be great, actually doesn’t feel so good. Or, a situation we find ourselves in is not what we thought we had signed up for. We don’t make decisions thinking we’re gonna end up feeling like crap. Unfortunately, life sometimes throws us curveballs. Sometimes we just can’t see clearly. Sometimes we fall into old patterns. The fantasies of what could’ve been, can quickly turn into what feels like our biggest nightmare.
When we find ourselves in that position, beating ourselves up on top of the pain we are already feeling, is just about the worst thing we can do. Thinking thoughts like This was a mistake, I wish I hadn’t done that, or What was I thinking, only makes us feel worse.
Simple examples are what happens if you overeat or overdrink. Sure, while you’re indulging it feels great, but you may find yourself left with a stomach ache or a hangover. You can feel sick, and think, Hey, that doesn’t feel so great. Maybe I won’t do that again. Lesson learned. Or you can think, I’m such an idiot–why did I do that?! and feel even worse than you already do. And all of you know what happens when we feel icky–we tend to make more decisions that don’t feel so great.
So instead of getting caught up in hating ourselves and wishing we “hadn’t done that” or “should’ve known better,” telling ourselves There are no mistakes in life often feels much better.
What if you believed there were no mistakes? What if you loved yourself through every tough time? What if you knew everything that has ever happened in your life was exactly as it should be?
Just pondering those questions brings me relief during trying times. Even when we can’t find the meaning or the lesson, just knowing one is there can bring comfort.
When dealing with issues in our lives, it’s always up to us to choose how to perceive things. Believing in mistakes is like holding onto our pain with a death grip. Rehashing the past, and wishing we had done things differently only perpetuates the suffering. Letting go, trusting, and knowing we are all just works in progress feels so much better. This allows us to move forward and make room for bigger and better things in our lives.
That’s it–that’s all I got for ya!
Happy day!
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