I wish I had taken more chances.
Do you every feel like that? How does it feel to imagine getting to the end of your life and looking back at lost opportunities – the ‘what if’s, the fizzled out dreams?
Not a very cheery place to start this week, I know. Sorry.
But this stuff is important. Life is hard and uncertain, especially at the moment. Spend any time at all with someone who has faced a life changing situation or a sudden loss, and their perspective will be very much on the centrality of living NOW according to what is most important.
Taking more chances is high on the list of death bed regrets.
Now risk-taking is not everyone’s cup of tea, nor does everyone thrive on the challenge, the new, the adventure. For some, knowing the parameters within which they live, and remaining safe and under control within those parameters is part of how they are wired.
But I wonder if for most of us, there are situations in life that ask us to take a chance, try something new, step a wee bit or a mammoth leap out of our comfort zone.
Why don’t we take a chance?
Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Loss of control. Fear of what others might think. All possible and valid reasons.
But are these reasons worth what we risk missing out on?
When you are facing death, what others might think of you suddenly seems much less of a pressing concern. What do I risk losing suddenly becomes what do I stand to gain?
Because imagine if we did take that chance – try out that new idea/skill/relationship/business opportunity. Take a chance maybe on reconnecting with a long lost friend (read more on that here), or seeking to make amends when a relationship has been damaged with a grudge.
Imagine the potential benefits.
The opportunities to be more fulfilled and bring fulfilment to others. New learning we might gain and experiences we will have that broaden our world view. Opportunities to give something back. When I left a stable and well paid job in the NHS as a physiotherapist 11 years ago, it was a huge risk, for me and for the family.
More on that here. I learned, got it wrong, reassessed, learned again. And grew in confidence, new skills and opportunities and am so grateful for where I am now.
What about you?
Perhaps this is simply about taking more risks to have fun and not take yourself too seriously.
Taking ourselves too seriously also features as a death bed regret.
Life is busy and full. We know that. But fun is important for our emotional, mental and physical well being. I often use a Life Assessment Tool for new clients and in the workshops that I run. It is a curious thing how often Fun and Recreation scores low. When we focus on other aspects of life that are important, we can easily lose sight of the simple need for straightforward fun and laughter.
Laugher is the best medicince, so they say.
Whoever they are.
Now of course, life can be pretty tough and we all experience traumatic and difficult times, some seeming to get more than their fair share. But taking opportunities to have fun, see the lighter side where possible, have a right good belly laugh when we can brings many benefits.
A brief look at the medical benefits of laughter (not a very scientific study, just a quick wee trawl) and found that laughter reduces stress, boosts the immune system, stimulates endorphin production, improves oxygen consumption, soothes tension, improves mood and promotes a better perspective on our situation.
That is quite a list! And of course, unless you can think of any, there are no negative side effects of laughter, no prescriptions required, no special equipment (although I did once fall off a table because I was laughing so much…fun times).
Laughter is a very unifying thing too, bonding together people over a shared joke. Who are the people in your life that can make you laugh till you cry?
So this week, take a wee minute to ask yourself if you have been taking yourself too seriously, or allowing fear to get in the way of an opportunity.
Don’t fear opportunity – fear regretting lost chances at the end of your life.
