How (and Why) to Practice Acceptance
Understanding and practicing acceptance can be a transformative approach to well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits of acceptance and learn how to integrate it more frequently into our lives.
What Is Acceptance
In everyday terms, we might think of acceptance as simply tolerating or putting up with something. However, in psychology, acceptance means taking a stance of non-judgmental awareness and actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur (Hayes et al., 2004). This kind of acceptance acknowledges that difficult emotions are an unavoidable part of life. At different times, we will experience sadness, anger, disappointment, boredom, frustration, grief, and heartbreak. Even the most even-keeled individuals are not free of these emotions.
When these emotions arise, we have two options: resistance or acceptance. Many of us default to resistance, as these emotions are often unpleasant. However, psychologists have found that trying to resist or avoid difficult experiences can cause further psychological harm (Hayes et al., 2006).
Why Acceptance Is Important
Experts suggest that acceptance is the healthier option. Tara Brach
writes, “Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering” (2004). Our experiences consist largely of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. Learning to accept these, even when they are difficult or undesirable, is a helpful tool for well-being.
To be more accepting, it helps to reflect on our habitual attitudes towards ourselves. Ask yourself:
- Do you speak harshly to yourself about a perceived mistake or an embarrassing moment?
- Do you feel overwhelmed with emotion and frustrated with yourself for feeling this way?
- How might you take a more understanding and gentler attitude towards yourself?
How to Be More Accepting
- Notice Your Resistance:
Begin by noticing how you tend to resist your experiences. Do you snack to stave off boredom or binge-watch TV when you are sad? Most resistance is unconscious. The first step towards changing any habit is becoming aware of its existence. - Question Your Patterns:
Once you notice your resistance, consider why these patterns exist. How did the adults in your life react when you were sad or angry as a child? Did they allow you to work through these emotions, or did they tell you to put on a brave face? Reflecting on these experiences can help you understand your current patterns and remind you that these habits can be changed. - Be Mindful:
Mindfulness involves awareness and acceptance of our experience. Practicing mindfulness through meditation or bringing mindful moments into everyday life can help you become more aware of your habitual patterns. - Think of Your Inner Child:
We are often our harshest critics. It can be helpful to think of yourself as a child, which may make it easier to be gentle and understanding when your experience is difficult. - Practice Regularly:
Acceptance is a skill that requires practice. Continuously choosing a more accepting mindset helps make acceptance a mental habit, which will become more natural over time. Use each struggle with difficult emotions as an opportunity to practice acceptance.
Remember, acceptance is not the same as resignation. Acceptance involves acknowledging and allowing your present experience, not necessarily your life situation. Through awareness and practice, you can increase acceptance in your own life and enjoy its benefits.
By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can foster a healthier, more accepting attitude towards yourself and your experiences, ultimately enhancing your overall well-being.
References
– Brach, T. (2004). Radical acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. Bantam.
– Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1-25.
– Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., Bunting, K., Twohig, M., & Wilson, K. G. (2004). What is acceptance and commitment therapy?. In A practical guide to acceptance and commitment therapy (pp. 3-29). Springer, Boston, MA.
Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.
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