When I sat opposite one of my clients the other day, my heart went out to her, because life is hard and it can feel like a constant pull between competing responsibilities. I remember when my kids were small I said it was like pushing back a tide.
Whether you are running your own company or employed, the chances are you are managing teams, making key decisions, keeping your family and friends happy, and still trying to find time to just be you and do the things that you love to do – if you can remember what that is! There are so many aspects of your life that you love (and wouldn’t trade for the world) but deep down this constant battle-like feeling, with mounting stress leaves you exhausted and you feel like your self-confidence is at an all-time low.
Sound familiar?
You’re not alone. I see this every day in my coaching sessions – women who are strong, ambitious, and to all intents and purposes got it all on the outside but feeling overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted on the inside. I know that feeling well – I lived it for over a decade. I tried everything, read every book, repeated every mantra and the latest technique, but nothing changed how I felt deep down. It always felt like I was putting on an act.
So here’s the truth: the secret to transforming your life isn’t a new hack, a new morning routine, the latest detox or even a new fabulous notebook (ok that may help!)
It’s something much simpler—and much more profound – and I know because it worked for me when nothing else did.
What If the Answer Was Inside You All Along?
Over a decade ago I was introduced to a simple, yet profound understanding of how we work as human beings. It transformed my life and continues to do so, it’s what I share with my clients and has transformed their lives too.
What sets it apart from other approaches is that this isn’t about fixing you (because you’re not broken!). It’s about helping you rediscover your true nature – in other words who you are without all the stress, overwhelm, doubt, fear and other head spaghetti we have. So that you reconnect with the calm, confident, and resilient person you already are.
Take a moment to think about it for a moment. Have you ever experienced that feeling when everything just comes together, your mind is clear, the ideas are coming, there is an ease and flow to how you are working? Or maybe you’re walking the dog or you’re in the shower and the solution to a problem you’ve been trying to solve just pops into your head. In those moments you feel confident, assured, hopeful – all the feelings that you want to experience more of! It’s not a fluke, this is the natural consequence of having a clear mind, a mind that is free from layers of stress, overthinking and self-doubt.
The truth is, we get into the habit of looking outside ourselves to help us feel better – new strategies, a new job, another holiday – but the effect of these is always short-lived. The real transformation happens from within.
The Big Shift: Understanding the source of your experience
This was the biggest game changer for me: I always thought that something outside of me made me feel in a certain way. But here’s the truth our feelings are not created from our circumstances. They are created by our thoughts about our circumstances!
The next time you are caught in a whirlwind of ‘I have too much to do’, ‘I’m not going to get this done’ or ‘I’m not doing enough’ it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed. But remind yourself that those feelings aren’t caused by your to-do list, the expectations of others or your overfilled diary – they are the result of your thinking in the moment. The good news is that thoughts are temporary, they come and go like clouds in the sky and by noticing what we are doing, we can engage with them less and let them float by!
Once you understand this, you’ll start to see stress and self-doubt for what they really are – passing thoughts, not permanent truths about your circumstances
Why This Matters for Women Like You
Like it or not, women bear the brunt of responsibilities outside of work. So if you are an ambitious woman with your own dreams and aspirations it can often feel like you are shackled down by the weight of the world. But the thing is, whilst there is undoubtedly a lot to do, a lot of that ‘weight’ is created in our own mind. When we tap into the wisdom of our own mind and let go of the thinking that holds us down, you’ll experience more clarity, resilience and confidence – that already lives within you.
So this isn’t about ‘doing more’ or changing who you are. It’s about realising on a deep and transformational level that you are already enough.
Practical Steps to Start Your Transformation
Ready to explore this for yourself? Here are a few ways to begin:
- Create Space to Raise Your Own Awareness
Being mindful about what is going on in our own minds can be a powerful first step. Often, we are simply ‘in life’ so allowing yourself space to notice what is going on in your own mind raises your own awareness so that you can create a better experience. - Get Curious About Your Thoughts and Feelings
Be curious about the thoughts that lie behind your feelings. If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, how do you know that? What are you telling yourself? What if that thought wasn’t as true as you thought it was? - Remember: It’s a Journey, Not a Quick Fix
Transforming your life isn’t about flipping a switch. It’s about gently shifting how you see the world—and yourself. I often liken it to a string of fairy lights, each insight is a light that switches on until everything looks brighter.
Why This Works (and Why It’s Not What You Expect)
I wouldn’t blame you if you thought that transformation comes from changing external things: setting ambitious goals, achieving more or doing things differently – I was exactly the same. However, if you are seeking lasting change, that comes from within. When you start to understand and see for yourself how your thoughts shape your experience, you’ll stop feeling like life is happening to you and start creating it on your own terms. The shift may be subtle but it is profound.
Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This More Than You Think!
You don’t need to do more or add more to your already overburdened plate! The secret to transformation is about taking away your mental load and understanding that you already have everything that you need.
When we understand how we create our experience as humans we begin to live life with more ease and clarity, our stresses and strains melt away and we enjoy higher levels of confidence, able to fully embrace who we are – in all aspects of our life.
So take a deep breath. You’re closer to the life you want than you think.
