The Truth About Change: Why You’re Stuck

Let’s get real for a moment: true, lasting change is impossible if you remain the same version of yourself that you are today. Think about it—you wouldn’t walk into a bar exam without so much as cracking open a textbook, right? The same principle applies to every area of your growth. To truly evolve, you need to study yourself, understand the inner workings of your mind shaped by your past, and begin the deeply transformative process of reparenting yourself. That’s how you become the person you’re longing to be.

In workshops or one-on-one discussions, I can see so many people get it. Heads nod, aha moments flicker in their eyes, and there’s this collective sense of agreement—“Yes, this makes sense!” But here’s the kicker…

Knowing isn’t the same as DOING.

You’re smart. You’re aware. You’ve likely read all the self-help books, watched the inspiring videos, and nodded along to advice that you know holds truth. So let me ask you:

• Why hasn’t it stuck?

• Why aren’t you eating healthier, drinking less, or quitting the habits that weigh you down?

• Why are you still procrastinating, overthinking, numbing yourself, or staying in your own way?

Let me tell you something you probably don’t want to hear, but need to: You don’t really want to change. Not yet.

Your subconscious mind and your inner child are calling the shots right now. That part of you that learned, at a young age, to cope with the complexities of life in the best way it knew how. That little kid is still running the show:

• Eating sugar for a dopamine hit to soothe their stress.

• Escaping into pornography, binge-watching, or scrolling endlessly to avoid reality.

• People-pleasing out of fear, bending and sacrificing to feel accepted.

This inner child—or teenager, or young adult—has been managing pain for years, and while their methods helped you survive back then, they’re holding you back now. It’s time to gently take the reins away from them because the truth is, this version of you will never lead you to freedom and fulfillment.

Your brain doesn’t wake up one day, flip a switch, and decide to transform—despite what those social media “quick-fix” posts claim. Unless there’s a major, life-changing event (like a disaster, illness, or trauma), change doesn’t happen like magic.

The empowered, life-changing transformation you want happens minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

It’s like going to the gym. You can’t walk in Monday with a flabby body and expect six-pack abs by Friday. Transformation is about consistent, intentional effort. But here’s the good news: it’s absolutely doable—when you approach it the right way.

1. Decide Everything starts with a decision. Not a wish. Not “hope for the best.” A solid, unwavering decision that this is YOUR time. You have to commit so deeply to this new version of yourself that nothing—no challenge, no bad day—can derail you.

2. EEP (Emotional Emergency Plan) Let’s be real—there will be days when you feel like absolute garbage. Days when the resistance feels SO strong, you’ll want to give up. That’s where your Emotional Emergency Plan comes in. It has to be stronger than your temptations because, trust me, the pull of the “old you” will feel more real in your body than any fleeting wave of motivation. Be ready for it.

3. Regulation Your nervous system is a powerhouse—it has the ability to lift you up or send you spiraling back into your old patterns. That’s why you must REGULATE it proactively. Tools like:

   These are non-negotiables. Without regulation, even the smallest trigger can knock you off track. Protect your progress by taking care of your mind and body daily.

4. Goals (The Real Kind) Transformation is built on measurable, intentional action. If you want to become your best self, you need to set goals that are small, achievable, and inspiring. No quick-fix fantasies here—just steady, consistent progress that adds up to extraordinary change over time.

This is how you move beyond just knowing what to do—and actually doing it.

Let today be the day you actually begin. DECIDE to change. Prepare your EEP for the tough days. REGULATE your mind and body like the champion you’re becoming. Then set small, powerful goals that take you closer to the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

Are you ready? Because if you are, step one starts now: Decide.